McD's and me

Time to talk to myself for a while again. I've been thinking about my relationship with McDonald's, as in the "Golden Arches." A recent trip through the local McD's drive-through prompted memories of past experiences there.

McD's isn't on my list of favorite fast food restaurants, although I do like an Egg McMuffin with real/fake bacon now and then. There was a time when I looked forward to a  McD's cheeseburger, but it's been 20 years or more since I've eaten one. I can  still conjure up the smell and taste of the bun, burger, cheese, mustard, ketchup, onion, and pickles and even imagine myself trying Mayor McCheese's favorite burger again. I used to special order mine with mustard and pickles only, but rarely did the fry cook actually fix it that way. I'd discover that he or she had ignored my request when I took the second  or third bite, and then I'd curse under my breath at the unwelcome mingling of ketchup and onion with my preferred condiments. In fact, it was rare that ANY order, standard or "special" came through the drive-through window the way I ordered it.

This all started back in 1981 (is that right, Larry?), when our family returned from the year in Ohio that Larry/Dad/Paco was on a leave from Gustavus. Friends in St. Peter had kept us up to date with local news while we were gone, including the exciting arrival of a McDonald's restaurant on the north end of town. A few days after returning to Minnesota, we decided to take our family to the new hot spot in town and live it up with burgers, fries, and kids' meals. Our order had some mistakes, but we gave the McD's the benefit of the doubt because everything was so new.

However, a pattern of wrong items in our orders emerged on subsequent visits to the Golden Arches, and we patiently, at first and not so patiently later, went back to the counter to get the missing McNuggets or Coke or fries. No kidding--this happened EVERY TIME we went to McD's as a family for supper or ordered food in the drive-through. There were times that I ordered only a diet cola at the drive-through window and STILL got the wrong item!  Now I see it as a sign that we should have stayed at home and fixed our own food.

Fast forward to the present. Recently I've discovered the deliciousness of McD's chilled coffee drinks, and this has prompted me to give Mickey D one more chance. Things change. Or do they?

What a fool I was to think that I could order a skim (a.k.a. nonfat) iced latte with no flavoring added and actually get one! It doesn't seem to matter if I'm in St. Peter, Mankato, Rochester, or Owatonna. Here's what I've gotten instead, even after repeating the order two or three times, depending on the deafness level of the employee and/or having the employee repeat the order back to me incorrectly OR correctly:  hot coffee with cream; a hot latte; a hot latte with flavoring; a cold latte with hazelnut flavoring, which I'm allergic to;  and iced coffee with cream. Yesterday I was overjoyed to get what I actually ordered...an iced latte with no flavoring. Of course, the employee at the drive-through had to ask me three times and repeat it back twice incorrectly before she got it, and when the info popped up on the screen to tell me what I owed, it was the wrong size and therefore more expensive, but at least it came close to what I'd ordered. I drove up to pay at the window, then moved ahead to the pick-up window, grabbed the icy cup and drove off, stopping briefly to take a sip of what I'd been waiting for all day. It's SO GOOD. If you can get it.

There's more to yesterday's McD's drive-through story that has nothing to do with the coffee. When I got to the pick-up window I was greeted by a woman who appeared to be in her fifties and looked like the pictures you see of people on meth. Trying not to be judgmental and also trying to avoid staring at the space where four top teeth should have been, but weren't, I chirped, "Happy Easter!" She smiled her toothless smile and said, "Thanks, Jill, and Happy Easter to you, too." Yikes! Who was that woman?